hopes and fears
I cried out her name as loud as I possibly could. I felt my own calm facade fade away into a new expression. Maybe it was fear, or perhaps a more horrorful one. I had just realized that i might not have enough air in my lungs to be able to stop her before time was up. She snapped her head when she heard her former name, like a painful memory had crossed her mind. I winced when I remembered our life-altering conversation that we had last month. Was it really that long ago? Maybe I was going crazy, both losing track of my life and time.
Suddenly I felt the urge to stop screaming. But how could I ever let her go? Push her life away from my conscience. It would be such a relief. However, I knew the answer to the question long before I had formed the question in my mind. Therefore, I called out her name again. And again, and another time after that. The screams blurred together in to one painful sound. Actually it was not really her name that I called out. It was my name for her. The same name she swore that she would never answer to even if death was her other option. My eyes started to flood as I saw her reaction. My image of her became unclear and I hurried to bring myself back to my senses. Guess she lied after all. That woman sure knew when to pick her lying moments, I'll give her that.
My eyes were shut with such force that my head was starting to ache. My scream started to drown when she stubbornly shaked her head as if to get rid of my voice. I watched helplessly as she kneeled down in the deep black ocean. As if that was not enough, she had chosen to wear it. After all. The waves roared like angry lions as they started crashing over her and she sank further away from my head.
My jaws relaxed when I opened my eyes. Why did this keep happening to me? I was not sure why, but it had proven its accuracy before. Time and time again. I was smart enough to trust it. It. Did not have a name for it yet. It was like my highest hopes mixed with my greatest fears. My hopes and fears. Was it a blessing or a curse? Whatever the answer was, now I knew that she was going through with it. I had to act, and that soon.
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skrev ner lite spontant osm jag kom på när jag åkte bil hem från danmark. srkev ner allt på min mobil. haha. danmark var helt grymt. kommer kanske ett mer koncentrerat danmark inlägg senare. nu behövde jag skriva av mig, bigtime.
puss
Suddenly I felt the urge to stop screaming. But how could I ever let her go? Push her life away from my conscience. It would be such a relief. However, I knew the answer to the question long before I had formed the question in my mind. Therefore, I called out her name again. And again, and another time after that. The screams blurred together in to one painful sound. Actually it was not really her name that I called out. It was my name for her. The same name she swore that she would never answer to even if death was her other option. My eyes started to flood as I saw her reaction. My image of her became unclear and I hurried to bring myself back to my senses. Guess she lied after all. That woman sure knew when to pick her lying moments, I'll give her that.
My eyes were shut with such force that my head was starting to ache. My scream started to drown when she stubbornly shaked her head as if to get rid of my voice. I watched helplessly as she kneeled down in the deep black ocean. As if that was not enough, she had chosen to wear it. After all. The waves roared like angry lions as they started crashing over her and she sank further away from my head.
My jaws relaxed when I opened my eyes. Why did this keep happening to me? I was not sure why, but it had proven its accuracy before. Time and time again. I was smart enough to trust it. It. Did not have a name for it yet. It was like my highest hopes mixed with my greatest fears. My hopes and fears. Was it a blessing or a curse? Whatever the answer was, now I knew that she was going through with it. I had to act, and that soon.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
skrev ner lite spontant osm jag kom på när jag åkte bil hem från danmark. srkev ner allt på min mobil. haha. danmark var helt grymt. kommer kanske ett mer koncentrerat danmark inlägg senare. nu behövde jag skriva av mig, bigtime.
puss
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